unified field theory of writing advice

Recently, the Guardian published a two-part story in which a variety of successful writers responded to a survey about writing, in order to elicit advice for aspiring writers. This sort of day off for a journalist is not, of course, about being a better writer at all, or even a more successful one. At best it's a chance to join in while some of the writers you enjoy do what all writers love most, which is to goof around instead of writing. And at par, it's a measure of the ways in which privilege shapes the supersurface of the media narrative. Many of the answers are contradictory, and yet I believe I may have identified a single trait which could be easily condensed into one clearly very important piece of advice for aspiring writers:






That neglected piece of advice which applies in all but one of the cases, clearly, is this: BE WHITE.

The decrypted comment of the Guardian piece is not 'have enough willpower and whimsy to be a lovely sort of person at the page and it will fill up for you' as many readers are likely to have taken it. The message is aimed at white people who want other white people to buy their work so yet more white people can ask them asinine questions in order to help make more profits for white-owned corporations, and it is that writing's not a bad gig if you can get it.